“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence.” – Eckhart Tolle
Yes, you read it correct…my friend.
You see, anxiety has been my enemy for 10 years. We’ve waged war upon one another day in and day out. Some days I won the battle. Anxiety won the most part of it hands down. I’ve pulled out all cards, try to corner anxiety, trick him and bullshit him. I’ve begged him and even offered hugs. Anxiety wanted no part of it.
You reach a stage in your life when you realize you’re fighting a losing battle.
It’s not about quitting or giving up. Quite the contrary, it’s about looking anxiety right in the face and make an official introduction.
“Hi Anxiety, my name is Ash. Do I call you by another name or just Anxiety? So…what can you tell me…”
Yes, indeed we come up with all sorts of stories and plans, just to rid ourselves from anxiety, fear and panic attacks. Especially if the yearly clock ticks by and you realize…oh, anxiety has been living with me for the past 8 years. Oh look, we’ve hit the 10-year mark.
I know the anatomy of anxiety all too well. Symptoms and signs are quite different for every second person. Some may experience similar symptoms, whereas others will experience different signs. Unfortunately, anxiety is quite of a creeper. You think you’re enjoying your night’s rest and BAM…anxiety hit you right in the core ever so unexpectedly. That is just the reality of it.
After many trial and errors, I’ve learned not how to rid myself of anxiety, but how to live with it.
There are times when you have no other choice, but to accept things the way they are. By no means does it mean you’ll never be rid of anxiety. You just need to learn how to live with it and in my case, anxiety said its goodbyes.
You see, sometimes you come to a point where you need to surrender to your perceived reality. Acknowledging what was and is. The future is never set in stone – it changes constantly. I see much beauty in that perceived reality. As you take your time acknowledging what was and go straight to the core of what bothers you, you then allow yourself immediate healing. It’s never easy or comfortable to enter uncharted waters, yet so incredibly important for your self-growth.
Next, you accept the inevitable. Many times, I literally had to face myself in the mirror (me talking to anxiety hiding inside of me), but I could see anxiety watching me back through the reflection of my own eyes. FEAR… As I started accepting that this was my reality, I manage to slowly but surely let go of what no longer served me.
This is where the key to freedom is hidden. You need to realize, YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND! Your mind is in constant survival mode, especially when we who suffer from anxiety, takes over. Your brain becomes OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and you feel like a headless chicken running around not sure what to do.
What have I learned? How did I overcome my anxiety episodes?
By gaining courage and strength and eventually moving to my past traumatic childhood. My inner-child was stricken with fear and she so desperately required healing. As I slowly moved through all the painful memories and worked it out, let it go, realizing I was not to blame; I manage to let go…within time.
After acknowledging all the painful memories, I started accepting each one of them. I started seeing the lessons in each of those memories. They might have been horrid, but I forced myself to search for the hidden messages, lessons.
Finally, I managed to enter a space of just surrendering and letting go of that which no longer served me. I reclaimed back my power and started believing in myself again, that I am in control…not fear.
I’m not going to lie to your face here. This takes time. It can literally take years for you to heal from your own anxiety suffering. I literally had to evaluate EVERYTHING within my space. What I eat and drink. Books I read. Movies I watched. Music I listened to. People I allowed into my circle. Because at a stage I realized, that all these factors were triggers.
I recall going to my GP and telling him I’m no longer drinking these beta-blockers. It’s making me iller than any good coming from it. He supported me and accepted my new-found strength. But then he said a few words that truly has stuck with me forever.
“Get to know your triggers. Learn what they are”.
I didn’t understand it at the time. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way. I couldn’t watch any drama or emotional movies. Books had to be light. Movies and music had to be happy or comedy filled. I cut out sugars and caffeine which in any way shot up my adrenaline levels. Incorporated more fruits and vegetable into my diet. I couldn’t consume meat. So, I ultimately became vegetarian (which I anyway prefer). I had to cut out family and friends that only pulled me into their own drama. I only mingled with those that uplifted me and supported me.
You see, there are so many triggers.
Those nasty triggers can cause you so much discomfort. Get to know what triggers you and rid yourself from it. Don’t take my word for it. Test it for yourself.
We all live in dire times today. The world is in chaos. The future for every single person is uncertain. Instead of pondering in the future, pull back your thoughts and allow yourself to return to your past and face those demons. After you’ve met and greeted, send them on their way. They have no more hold on you. It’s you holding onto them. Trust me!
Let go of that which no longer serves you. It’s not your weight to carry any longer. Free yourself and allow yourself to heal.
You are worthy to be healed.
The posts on the Lyran Heart Blog detail my own personal experiences in relation to the topic. This can include, but is not limited to, challenges, healing, growth, evolving etc. When it comes to lessons and/or healing tips, we cannot guarantee that you will have the same experiences or outcome. I am not a doctor and cannot provide medical advice. None of the information I share should be used as a replacement for seeking medical attention.
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