“Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
The true nature of assumptions stems from our inner world – what’s lingering inside of our mental and emotional body.
Assumptions are poisonous and deadly.
Deadly in the sense of too many people giving up before they even started trying.
Poison occurring as our minds come up with all sorts of excuses, ideas, and stories; all because we simply assumed…the worst.
I don’t necessarily enjoy the idea of just converting to: “Oh Well, it’s human nature to assume.” Negative much?
What about: “Oh man, it’s human nature to uplift and motivate.” – Okay, well, this did sound epic in my head at least. But you get the idea, right?
Blame it on conditioning and programming or frequent negative occurrences.
The fact remains, we all constantly participate in the ongoing act of assuming…and most of the time, always assuming the worst.
One key problem which instantaneously sets you up for failure is making assumptions and then taking action based upon that assumed idea which poisoned your mind from the get-go.
How many times have you assumed something of your partner, friends or family? You don’t know the facts, you simply base your guess purely on your roller-coaster thought processing, imagination or past experiences. Immediately we decide upon what happened and believe it with our whole being…as if it were true.
Now yes, sometimes you may have been spot-on. Other times you were completely incorrect.
I still frequently, when I allow it, fall into the failing trap of assuming what has happened due to past experiences.
Let me tell you, it is tiring and draining.
We all slip up. It can become such a vicious cycle however that we eventually believe the false assumption as truth.
Serious damage can be done by continuing within the down-spiraling act of assumptions.
And now I ask you the following question:
Why do we do it?
In my opinion, we assume or continue to do so, using this as a defense mechanism or safety barrier. We feel safer. It’s all about what’s lingering inside of us mentally and emotionally.
Yes, many assumptions I’ve made were actually true. Other times, I completely fell off the wagon, only later discovering that I’d rather pre-assume to prevent myself from getting hurt…again.
Listen, the cold hard truth is this…
We can sometimes be judgmental beings by allowing our emotions, beliefs, and expectations to drive us. What’s swimming inside of us, causes waves into our outer world, thus sometimes distorting our reality.
The fact is, as soon as you continue assuming habitually, you are no longer grounded and in tune with yourself. You simply create a negative space for yourself and continue on a problematic route. Your thoughts do shape your reality.
Now ask yourself these two questions:
What do you want your reality to look like?
Why do you continue assuming the worst of someone or something?
Let’s evaluate possible causes.
-Sense of control
-Trust issues etc.
Just remember one thing, our minds love going monkey on us. It enjoys playing tricks and mind games.
In my previous post introduce-friend-anxiety, I go into much more detail of how the mind can become the biggest bluffer.
You are not your mind.
Your thoughts are always trying to protect you in some way.
You have your very own built-in defense/survival mechanism.
However, occasionally our minds love taking it way too far.
It brings us to the self-help section.
How can you stop assuming the worst?
- Do your own research before you decide you ‘know something’.
- Communication is vital here. If someone is causing you to fall into an assumption notion, go talk to that person instead of creating difficulties for yourself.
- Let go of false assumptions. Let go of that which does not serve you. Start healing your past. Healing the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual body
- Reprogram your own thought process. Keep practicing being in a positive space than a negative hole.
- Work on your own insecurities. Remember, negative comments of people reflect their limitations. Stop criticizing, blaming and shaming yourself. Start loving and caring for yourself instead. Don’t place so much focus on what other people say to you or think of you. Human beings will always have an opinion and they’ll always have something to either complain about or criticize.
- Reclaim back your power. Be you and not a figment of someone’s imagination. Take back control of your thought process and be in control of what you observe, think, feel and say.
- Lastly, TRUST. Haven’t we all been hurt to a certain extent? As you move through your healing journey, you learn to forgive. Not only forgiving others in a sense of them hearing the words. Forgiveness comes down to letting go of the past and allowing yourself to move forward by not continuing being stuck in a nasty rut.
Trust builds over time. Not all people are out there to get you or bite you on the bum. Healing takes time.
Be kind to yourself.
Treat yourself gently.
Be courageous and brave.
The posts on the Lyran Heart Blog detail my own personal experiences in relation to the topic. This can include, but is not limited to, challenges, healing, growth, evolving etc. When it comes to lessons and/or healing tips, we cannot guarantee that you will have the same experiences or outcome. I am not a doctor and cannot provide medical advice. None of the information I share should be used as a replacement for seeking medical attention.
All the content on this blog is original, unless otherwise noted. We ask that you please do not repost any of our posts without obtaining permission, however you are more than welcome to link back to our post.
Copyright © 2018 Lyran Heart.