Depression requires Deep Rest. There is hope.
“Strength grows in the moments when you think you can’t go on, but you keep going anyway.”
By ASHLEIGH BREDENHANN
The letters form in your mouth. The sound reverberates in your mind. The heaviness echoes within you.
How can you not fall into the suffocating trap of darkness which now surrounds your whole beingness?
Every single particle, once a beautiful shot of rainbow colors lighting up your day, has now turned into a grey mesh.
Who will understand?
Who will see the depths of your thoughts?
The intensity of it all drowning you in its wake. From dusk till dawn. From dawn to dusk. The in-between lines of hope and sanity once kept the balance. Now it’s a blur and noise within the deafening silence of heavy emotions you can’t bear to carry. It’s too much. Overwhelming indeed.
I don’t want to discuss what depression is, the symptoms and treatment thereof. I’m not a medical expert. I’m simply consciousness experiencing this reality as an individual who suffered severely and dearly. I do want to give you hope though.
“Since childhood, I experienced depression within the most intense and horrid levels possible. Only, I didn’t know what it was. I remember feeling this immense heavy dark weight within, which I couldn’t shake.“
It was only during 2006 when I emerged into researching this topic…this toxic feeling.
From 2006 – 2014, I suffered from severe depression. To such an extent where I inflicted self-harm and had suicidal thoughts. My husband had to leave his career to look after me. He chose this route as he wanted me healed.
I’ve been depression-free since 2014. I went the pharmaceutical chemical way. Tried psychologists and psychiatry. In fact, at the age of 16 in 1996 (21 years ago), I was placed in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks. That was hell itself or rather a scary division of hell then. I’ve tried homeopathy, talking to people, randomly faking a smile…hoping it would trigger some sunshine within.
I only gained valuable experience and knowledge from all these different methods. Sadly, it did little to nothing in curing this dis-ease.
Ultimately, what did help me was researching plant medicines. Hubby has always been an explorer of alternative methods. He found Ayahuasca and San Pedro. (However, this is another story for another post).
When I glance back at my past, I realize that the only thing I wanted to hear, needed to hear, was some kind of thread that would help me or keep my head above water. Nothing else mattered. I only cared about knowing that I’ll pull through and be okay. That I will get through this monstrous space clinging to my essence.
My husband and I always joked about him becoming a psychiatrist. He has this natural inclination of simply feeling your pain, really listening to every word you have to say. A calmness. A stillness. He’ll process the information and soon after, he’ll repeat the following words continuously, which today I feel has saved my life in many ways.
I am now in a position to pass it along. Many of you may not have any support. Many of you have no loving husband, wife, mother or father. You are alone within this dark space and you need to find an escape route into the happy safe space.
Now I need your full attention…
I need you to read and listen to the words. Hear it. Absorb it. Listen to it whenever you need help or support. Because sometimes we who suffer or suffered from depression, we just need to hear that we’ll get through this numbing period. That we are strong enough to soon face life with lightness within our hearts. That depression calls for deep-rest from life and simply moving inward.
“You are going to be okay and you are going to make it.
This is only temporary.
This is not permanent.
You are strong.
You can do this thing called life.
Just hang in there.
Be gentle, patient, and kind to yourself.
The world is not monochrome.
It’s your perception of your current reality which automatically denies you any color.
You are in control.
Not your mind…even though the Ego (mind) thinks he is boss.
Your heart is pure and true.
Your heart knows the way.
Even though you struggle to feel anything right now, just know it will pass.
You will get out of your dark tunnel.
The clouds will clear and you’ll feel the warmth on your face again.
You will taste the drops of water on your tongue.
You will become light again.
The heaviness will pass.
The sadness will dissipate.
Hang on in there.
Take it moment for moment. Baby steps.
Don’t worry about tomorrow.
Let go of yesterday.
Only now is your moment.
You will get through this.
You will be okay.
Breathe… and Breathe and Breathe some more.
Love, Light & Peace to you.”
The posts on the Lyran Heart Blog detail my own personal experiences in relation to the topic. This can include, but is not limited to, challenges, healing, growth, evolving etc. When it comes to lessons and/or healing tips, we cannot guarantee that you will have the same experiences or outcome. I am not a doctor and cannot provide medical advice. None of the information I share should be used as a replacement for seeking medical attention.
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